Yesterday…my hair, Today…. my life!

For those of you that have followed me over the years, you may have read this resolution from me before today.  However, I do that feel that I was this determined back then.

NEW hair colours as of yesterday

NEW hair colours as of yesterday

In the past I was curious, …… if my body changed…would my art?  This is still interesting to me. However, now I don’t give a damn how it may change my art. Although, I would like to think that I will be happier and therefore my art work will most likely improve.

I have fears, as do many. One of my big fears is of losing weight. Don’t get me wrong, I have legitimate weight to lose (actually more than I thought).

– What if we find a major health issue after I have lost the weight. Will I find a lump that has been hiding? My Dad passed away from cancer at the age of 48 (although he was skinny then and it started out as skin cancer).

– Will I look ‘old’. I am currently 43 and many people always say they are shocked and that they thought I was in my late 20’s. Thanks, but I may end up with horrible saggy wrinkles after this life changing adventure…. then again, maybe not.

– What if I turn out not to be the funky fun’n’sexy image that I have perceived myself of these last 15 + years?

I know these are mostly very silly, but in all honesty, they have actually kept me from trying as hard as I can to lose this baggage of fat. According to my W.W. weigh in this morning, I have a lovely 87.4 lbs to lose… at the minimum to have a healthy BMI.

So, ….. I have completely had enough! I want to look good, I want to feel good, and dammit I want to be considered sexy!

This morning when I went to my first weight watchers meeting in about 15 years and they weighed me in, I actually weighed in 20lbs more that what I had thought I was (judging by the last time I weighed myself in at home a few months ago).

I will not give myself a time line or an event to work towards, as this has also helped de-rail me in the past. This will be an adventure. A lifetime adventure. One I am sure I will have a HUGE love/hate relationship with.

My inspiration……

  • Bob Harper
  • My imaginary film crew that is documenting my eating habits
  • Duran, my wonderful son and my close family & friend supporting crew
  • and ME! I love me, but now I would love to appreciate the physical me as well.

If you are on a similar journey, please feel free to join me by leaving me a comment below my posts.

Here’s to a happy creative ME! Here we GO!

Nicci

 

4 thoughts on “Yesterday…my hair, Today…. my life!

  1. I love the length of your hair! I also like you darker rather than blonde….but you can pull anything off.
    I’ve struggled my whole life with my weight, but still refuse to give up food. I love to eat, and eat everything except junk. I exercise more to combat my addiction (gluttony is my favourite sin)…
    Here’s what I know to be true, no matter what my weight, I do not change. In fact when I am at my skinniest, thinking I will have some sort of epiphany, I am disappointed at how few things change, and how few people actually notice.

    I feel my best a few pounds lighter than I am now, and am working on it and by my fortieth birthday I should be on target. In the grand scheme of things, I have been 20 pounds lighter and 20 pounds heavier, and my friends don’t seem to bat an eye at it anymore.

    I try to stay fit for myself. SO I can run, swim and bike with the kids. So I can learn to dive, ski and river-raft right along side of them. DO it for yourself. 🙂 X

  2. Hi Nicci! Wow it’s been a long time since school! Anyways you probably remember me as being very small, that was because I was anorexic and that was a huge battle for me for a number of years. Then my thyroid decide to become under active and I gained a lot of weight. Then after have 2 babies I really started to gain weight. I now have 60 pounds to lose. I feel like I’m trapped in a body that isn’t mine. I too joined weight watchers. I don’t know how to lose this weight and to find myself , to feel sexy, and beautiful. It will be hard but it is something that I have to do for myself, as do you. Let’s stick together through this journey!

  3. I would be happy to Alana. Thank you for sharing… and yes, I do picture you as being young and petite still to this day. 🙂

  4. Thanks Eva. I never noticed the fluctuation, but then to me you were always skinny. Thank you for your input and for sharing. Miss you, but glad you are enjoying your adventure alongside your wonderful family. 🙂

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