’40’ is the new ‘Me’

Tomorrow is the big day folks! I have never really held much focus on age and what a number means and I had no idea that 40 would affect me the way it has.

I am feeling great today and really looking forward to what tomorrow and all the other days will bring, but BOY, was last week ever rough emotionally.nicci

I was so deeply lost trying to figure out what everyones reactions to me actually meant in regards to my life so far and what kind of a friend I may really be to all of them. It may be a Gemini thing, I am not sure, but I was always somewhat like this growing up. If things started to go bad or just looked like they were heading in a downward spiral to me, I would almost want to just give up on everything. After all, what was the point?

It’s a pretty shi**y way to think, but I honestly did. I would have to fight it with all my eternal strength,as there is no way I ever wanted to end up as a manic depressive or have a Doctor try and put me on medications. I had seen this happen to people in my world growing up and was so afraid up being sucked into that quick sand.

I haven’t felt that way is years. So many years that I have no idea how many it has been. Last Wednesday pretty much had me knocked to the ground and shedding a lot of tears. Don’t get me wrong, I know very well that I have a wonderful life and that I am one of the luckiest people around. But Boy oh boy, that was something.

The next morning arrived and I felt so much stronger and eager for all the great adventures and some challenges coming my way. I cannot wait for tomorrow to arrive and I am spending today enjoying the sunshine and finding something sexy and empowering to wear to greet my 40th year tomorrow.

Love to you all! Now go dance in your local grocery shopping aisle to the ‘musak’ of the day! … as that is what I am going to do, since we are out of peanut butter.

keep smiling and creating,